What Exactly Is A "Man Written By A Woman", Is It A Good Thing, And Are You One?

"Man written by a woman" may be my most favorite Gen-Z term ever.

There sure is a lot of haze surrounding what it takes to be called one, but I can assure you it is so much more than just trying to look like a Walmart Harry Styles or describing your girlfriend like a shot of espresso.

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This term had first gained notoriety over on BookTok where it's defined as the likes of fictional men such as Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice or Laurie from Little Women who are both written by female authors for the female audience. Like these two dashing fellows, "a man written by a woman" is coined to, in short, being a man whose personality and description caters to, not what men think women want, but rather what specifically women really want.

But what exactly do women want, anyway?

Over time, this term has reached increasingly greater usage - in true TikTok algorithm fashion - and users have simultaneously agreed to add Harry Styles, Timothee Chalamet, Chadwick Boseman, Tom Holland, Shawn Mendes, Andrew Garfield, Riz Ahmed, and Tom Hiddleston to the list. And no, it isn't just the conventional attractiveness, brunette hair, or charming smile that makes a guy worthy to be called "written by a woman", but it all boils down to who they're like on the inside.

These famous men I have mentioned, in observation of interviews and paparazzi stalking, are by societal norms, respectful. They don't shy away from embracing their feminine side. They are raging feminists and emotional, gentle creatures who aren't afraid of being "too soft". They pride themselves in being someone that everyone, especially women, is comfortable to hang around with, and in no hesitation participate in roles deemed for the weaker sex. In layman's terms, they're a Jake Peralta, a Chandler Bing, a Phil Dunphy.

These are guys who subvert the male expectations to adhere to the female gaze. And just as how the female gaze works, they don't objectify women and treat us like commodities, in far contrast to "men written by men" who live for wanting women to be portrayed and projected as mere objects satisfying their own needs. These men written by women see their gender counterparts as active companions rather than passive side characters in the story of their lives.

For example, in hindsight, when a man written by a man is asked "What do you like about her?", his typical response would look something like "Maybe her figure, or *insert comment about how hot her body is here* ", but if a man written by a woman is asked that same question, he'd respond with "It has to be her assuring smile, or the way her eyes light up when she drinks her pumpkin spice latte in late afternoons, or how she finds the beauty in a single autumn leaf in our early morning strolls."

OK, those descriptions might be a bit of a stretch, yet the idea is still here. Being Shakespearean poetic or constantly showing emotions aren't the end-all-be-all to be crowned that label. Being written by a woman simply means you treat women as equals, not inferiors, and hold them in high enough regard to respect them for their humanity to do something about it.

However, it needs to be said. TikTok, social media platforms, and generally the internet have all crafted a hyper realistic depiction of "men written by women" that in times, have reached impossible standards only easily maintained by famous white men who wear nail polish.

But the truth is ever as evident. In conclusion, this is more than just an inside-joke phrase in a TikTok comment section. It is somehow an observation that times are indeed changing and the world is switching the bare minimum to smashing the heteronormative gender roles, blurring the definition of societal masculinity, challenging the patriarchy, and fighting alongside women as equals.

Thus, answering the title question - yes, it is indeed a good thing. In short, "hey, I feel like you're a man written by a woman," might as well be the crown jewel of all possible guy compliments.

So, if you happen to tick most of these boxes, congratulations, my guy, and consider yourself written by a woman.

And sure enough, if men like these, following the Darcy + Laurie blueprint, will saturate the male population in the near future, then we'll really know the world has taken a shift for the better.